Roast Battle Lines To Say To Friends | Over Text | Comebacks

If you’ve ever found yourself tongue-tied during a roasting battle, don’t worry – we’ve got you covered. You want to say something funny and smart, but it can be hard to think of one quickly. Knowing the right roast battle lines to say can make all the difference in winning or losing.

Below are some of the funny roast battle to say to friends. Take these and own the stage next time!

Roast Battle Lines to Say

You bring nothing to the table – not even manners.
Heard your dog ran away; even loyalty has its limits.
You must’ve been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.
Your sense of humor is like a 404 page, not found.
Your memory’s so bad, even a goldfish feels sorry for you.
You look like you Google ‘how to be cool’ and hit ‘I’m feeling lucky.’
There’s no ‘I’ in team, but there is in ‘idiot.’
You’ve got more issues than a magazine rack.
Your hairline’s got more retreat than the army.
You’re like a YouTube video with no views.
You’ve got the charm of a wet sock.
Life called—it said you’re the plot twist no one asked for.
If excuses were a sport, you’d win gold every time.
Looks like your barber’s been dodging your calls.
Netflix is faster at loading than your brain.
Your sense of humor is like a dial-up connection—stuck in the 90s.
Even Google struggles to find your relevance.
Your style screams clearance rack, and not in a cool way.
Ever seen a trainwreck? Because you’re the sequel.
They should name a hurricane after you: all talk, no action.
You’re proof that even trash gets recycled eventually.
If brainpower were money, you’d be overdrafting daily.
You’re like a smartphone without the internet – completely useless.
Your personality’s so flat it makes pancakes jealous.
You’re like a broken clock – wrong 24/7.
Even a dead battery has more spark than you.
You’re not even the main character in your own story.
You’re the group project of people – nobody wants to work with you.
You couldn’t lead a parade in a one-street town.
I’d roast you harder, but I see life already beat me to it.
You’re like a slow elevator – everyone’s tired of waiting for you.
Your ideas are like expired milk – spoiled from the start.
You bring chaos wherever you go, but not the fun kind.

Roast Battle Lines To Say To Friends

I’ve seen plants grow faster than your sense of humor.
If playing the piano was easy, you’d still find a way to play off-key.
You take longer to order food than it took to build the pyramids.
Your phone’s autocorrect does a better job than you at making sense.
Your talent is like a hidden treasure – nobody’s ever going to find it.
Your brain’s like an internet browser with 20 tabs open… and none of them make sense.
You’re like a broken pencil, pointless and dull.
You’ve got the charm of a wet sock.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d still be broke.
You’re like a YouTube video with no views.
Even Google couldn’t find anything interesting about you
Is your life goal to be a warning label?
Life gave you lemons, but you made lemonade no one wants to drink.
Ever seen a traffic cone? That’s your vibe—awkward and in the way.
You could get lost in a straight hallway with no doors.
If bad decisions were a competition, you’d be undefeated.
Your charisma is as exciting as watching paint dry.
Reality called—it said, “Stay in your lane.”
The amount of effort you put into being wrong is impressive.
People smile when you leave because they finally get their space back.
You’re the kind of person who claps when the plane lands.
When they made “basic,” they had you in mind.
The drama you bring isn’t Netflix-worthy—more like low-budget cable TV.
Your memory’s so bad, even a goldfish feels sorry for you.
There’s no ‘I’ in the team, but there is in ‘idiot.
You’ve got more issues than a magazine rack.
Your hairline’s got more retreat than the army.

Roast Battle Comebacks

Keep talking; I’m collecting material for my next stand-up gig.
That’s cute—did your imaginary friend help you write that?
I would’ve given you a clever comeback, but you wouldn’t get it.
Saying that makes me think you’d lose a battle with a chair.
Your swimming skills match your comebacks—both shallow.
You’re about as useful as floaties in a hot tub.
Your handwriting looks like it’s running late for class.
The only thing you’re top of the class in is daydreaming.
Ouch, was that your best shot? Was hoping for something with impact.
You sound like a broken record… and it’s not a good one.
That roast was so cold, it gave me frostbite.
Keep talking, I’m just waiting for you to say something worth hearing.
If I had a penny for every time you made a bad joke, I’d own a mansion.
You really just said that? Was your brain on vacation?
If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.
It’s cute when you try, but maybe try harder next time.
You bring as much energy as a Monday morning assembly.
Your GPA and your jokes are competing to see who can hit rock bottom first.
Your words are sharp, but they cut like a butter knife.
Is that the best you’ve got? My grandma’s knitting hits harder.
You’re like a skipped ad—no one remembers you.
Thanks for the commentary; no one asked, though.
I’d explain, but I don’t say “irrelevant.”
You’re like a YouTube ad—annoying and skippable.
Ouch, was that your best shot? Was hoping for something with impact.”You sound like a broken record… and it’s not a good one.
That roast was so cold, it gave me frostbite.
You really just said that? Was your brain on vacation?
If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.
It’s cute when you try, but maybe try harder next time.

Roast Battle Jokes

You bring so little to the table that even IKEA would refund you.
People tolerate you like a Monday morning meeting.
You’re like a broken clock—wrong all the time.
Your confidence is inspiring, but your results are disappointing.
Hearing you talk feels like buffering—confusing and unnecessary.
I’ve seen smarter people in a game of Solitaire.
If laughter is the best medicine, you must be allergic to it.
You couldn’t even roast a marshmallow, let alone me.
I’d roast you, but I don’t want to risk burning myself.
If you had a dime for every time you made a good joke, you’d still be poor.
You’ve got more wrinkles than a piece of paper that’s been crumpled.
You couldn’t even roast a chicken without messing it up.
If jokes were currency, you’d be bankrupt.
I didn’t know they made comedy in beta form.
Ever thought about being quiet? It suits you better.
You must have a lot of fans—of bad decisions.
Your selfie game is strong, too bad it’s always lying.
You remind me of pineapple pizza—some people like it, but most don’t.
Did you Google that roast? Because it’s giving zero results.
Arguing with you is like playing chess with a pigeon—it’s all a mess and no strategy.
You’d go viral if trying too hard was a trend.
If laughter is the best medicine, you must be allergic to it.
You couldn’t even roast a marshmallow, let alone me.
You couldn’t even roast a chicken without messing it up.

Roast Battle Insults

Your best idea was probably someone else’s.
Your excuses are so bad even a broken clock makes more sense. That’s a funny insult for friends like you!
You’re the kind of person who loses at solitaire.
I’ve seen more personality in a rock.
You’re the kind of person who would lose a race to a snail.
You’ve got the charm of a potato, but less personality.
If I had a dollar for every time you messed up, I could retire by now.
You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
I’ve met more interesting people in a waiting room.
Your style is so outdated, it’s practically a historical artifact.
You’re like a broken pencil, pointless.
Every time you talk, it’s like watching paint dry.
You couldn’t roast bread if you had a toaster.
Your logic has more holes than a block of Swiss cheese.
You’re proof that not every story deserves a sequel.
Even your daydreams are probably boring.
You’ve got the personality of unflavored oatmeal.
Arguing with you is like arguing with a traffic cone.
You’re about as necessary as subtitles in a silent film.
I’ve met more interesting people in the waiting room.
Your style is so outdated, it’s practically a historical artifact

Good Roasts for Roblox Rap Battles

In this game, I’m the king, you’re just an NPC.
I built my empire; you’re still stuck in the tutorial.
You can’t out-rap me, even if you had all the blocks in the world.
Even my noob avatar has more style than your whole character.
I’m leveling up, but you’re just standing still like a statue.
You think you’re winning? I’m already in the next round.
Your rap’s slower than Roblox loading on a dial-up connection.
I’m the game’s highlight, you’re just a loading screen.
I’ve got more bars than your internet connection on a bad day.
Your rhymes are weaker than starter tools in the game.
Your words are lagging like a bad connection.
You couldn’t freestyle if the beat handed you a map.
My bars are VIP; yours are stuck in the loading screen.
Even NPCs have more personality than your flow.
You’re battling, but it feels like you’re AFK.
My rhymes build towers while yours crash the server.
Your style is basic, like a default skin.

Good Roasts for Roblox Roast Battles

You couldn’t beat me even if you had 100 Robux on your side.
I’ve got more skills than you have pixels in your character.
You might think you’re a pro, but your avatar’s stuck in beginner mode.
In this game, I’m top-tier, you’re still trying to learn how to steer.

Rap Battles Good Roasts That Rhyme

I’m the king of this game, you’re just a pawn, step off my stage and move on.
Your rhymes are weak; they barely spark, while I light up the mic like a fire in the Dark.
I’m stacking bars like a skyscraper, you’re over here folding like cheap paper.
You’re the intro; I’m the full song, I spit it right while you go wrong.
Your flow’s a drizzle; mine’s a storm, I’m breaking the mold while you’re stuck in the Norm.
You’re a rerun while I’m live on stage, my words cut deep like they’re slicing through Rage.
I rise like bread while you stay flat, your rhymes couldn’t even win a kid’s rap.
I’m the real deal; you’re just a scam, I’m cooking these lines while you’re stuck in the Pan.
You’re stuck in the past, I’m moving so fast, your rhymes will never last.
Your flow so weak, it’s making me snore, your bars are so poor.
Your lines are corny, just like your hat, you’re done before you even start.
I’m shining bright, while you’re dim, you’re out of sync like an old film.
You call that a roast, I call it a joke, I’m the one who’s ‘bout to provoke.
I’m a beast on the mic, you’re just a pet, step up to me, it’s time to get wet.
Your rhymes are so whack, they make me gag, while I’m flexing with the swag.
You think you’re clever, but you’re not a match, your bars are like a glitch, hard to Catch.
I’m spitting fire, you’re blowing smoke, your rhymes are all flat, like a broken spoke.

Roast Battle Tips

Be Quick: Think fast and respond immediately. Timing is key.
Stay Clever: Use wordplay, puns, or rhymes to make your roasts stand out.
Keep It Funny: Humor wins. Don’t take it too seriously.
Know Your Opponent: Use their weaknesses or quirks for material.
Stay Confident: Deliver your roasts with boldness and a smile.
Don’t Cross the Line: Keep it lighthearted and avoid being mean or offensive.
Practice: The more you roast, the better you’ll get!

Conclusion

To win a Roast Battle, you need the right words that will hit hard and make everyone laugh.

Savvanah Blaze

Savvanah Blaze is a master of wit and humor, bringing sharp comebacks and clever roasts to every conversation. With a background in directing and writing comedic short films, she knows how to craft the perfect punchline. At GOOD ROAST, she shares the best funny roasts and witty replies for any situation, making sure you’re always ready with the perfect comeback.