150+ Funny Savage Roasts List For Friends 2025

Everyone loves a good laugh, but nothing hits harder than savage roasts. Looking for 100 savage roasts to tease your friends, clap back at an insult, or simply enjoy some top-tier jokes? We’ve got you covered—with even more!

A well-timed roast can be both hilarious and brutal. The problem? Not everyone knows how to deliver a killer roast that stings just enough without crossing the line. That’s where the best roasts come in—witty, sharp, and unforgettable!

10 Most Savage Roasts list

Oh, you’re the reason mirrors come with warnings, right?
Hold on, I wasn’t done ignoring you.
Wow, even your phone has better focus than you do in life.
Your story should come with subtitles for all the extra nonsense.
Sure, take it all, my stomach loves being empty.
You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room.
Your secrets are safe with me; I never even listened in the first place.
You have something on your chin… no, the third one.
Your secrets are safe with me; I never even listened in the first place.
Are you done? I ran out of patience five sentences ago.
You’d be much more likable if you didn’t talk so much.
You’re not special; the traffic light turns red for everyone.
If you were any slower, you’d be in reverse.

Savage Roasts For Friends

You’d be a great alarm clock—loud and impossible to ignore.
The only game you mastered is playing the victim.
That impression you left was so bad, even a crime scene cleaner couldn’t fix it.
Rotten food lasts longer than your arguments.
Your teeth look like they’re social distancing from each other.
College saw your grades and said, “Nah, we’re full.”
Even PUBG bots play better under pressure than you do in real life.
Your life is like a puzzle—mostly missing pieces and confusion.
Even Tims Hortons’ stale donuts have more flavor than your personality.
The only thing crispier than fried chicken is your hair after a bad haircut.
Basketball isn’t for everyone, but watching you play is a horror movie.
You scare people more than a pop-up ad with full volume.
Women use you as an example of why standards exist.
Beauty might be skin deep, but in your case, we’re still digging.
Even AI refuses to generate an image of your face.
If your jokes were crops, famine would hit instantly.
Even doctors can’t find a cure for whatever you call a personality.
Time isn’t the only thing you’ve wasted—your potential ran away too.
Even vaccines can’t protect people from your stupidity.
The fact that you’re still alive is proof that natural selection takes breaks.
If your brain had as many pixels as a computer screen, you might function better.
You’re not lazy; you just inspire others to do the work.
You bring chaos wherever you go, and somehow, it’s impressive.
Your sense of humor is like your cooking—questionable at best.
The people who tolerate you on a daily basis deserve an award.
It’s amazing how you turn simple tasks into legendary failures.
Hanging out with you is a constant test of patience.
You’d lose a staring contest with a goldfish.
You’re the reason group chats have mute options.
Your life should come with a warning: Handle with care.
Talking to you feels like reading the terms and conditions.
You’ve got something no one else has—my patience running out.
You’re like a walking typo—always in the wrong place.
Silence would really suit you—it’s your best feature.
Your best feature is how you always make others look good.
You’re like a chair with a missing leg—hard to rely on.

Savage Roasts That Rhyme

Your jokes fall flat like a straight-up line, try again, or just resign!
Your savage comebacks weak, like bars in jail, locked up tight—no chance to bail!
You call that a roast? It’s barely a chime, step aside and learn to rhyme!
My words hit hard like precious gems, yours are fake—just cheap old stems!
You flex your cash, but here’s what’s funny—your jokes stay broke, they make no money!
You think you’re tough, you think you’re brave, but your comebacks barely misbehave!
Even kids can roast you twice, better step up and roll the dice!
Read a book, expand your brain, maybe then you’ll bring some pain!
I drop bars like Shakespeare’s pen, you drop lines? Do it again!
You talk too much, like a stubborn donkey, sit back down—you sound all wonky!
Your words are warm, mine cold as ice, step it up, or pay the price!
You play Roblox, but here’s the glitch—you can’t build a roast that sticks!
Rap battle me? You best prepare, ‘cause I roast fast like I don’t care!
Try to outsmart me? Nice endeavor, but I stay sharp, I’m way too clever!
Your style’s old like a busted shoe, step up now, or you’re straight through!
Warning, warning—here’s the alert, your weak roasts just got hurt!
Like a ghost, you fade away, while my bars haunt you every day!
Your comebacks bring no pain, just shame—step up, or lose the game!
You say “shut up,” is that your best? Sit back down, let me do the rest!

Savage Fake Friends Quotes

I’m not mad you stabbed me in the back; I’m mad you didn’t aim better.
Some friends are like pennies—two-faced and worthless.
Don’t worry; I never expected loyalty from a snake.
If betrayal had a face, it would look a lot like you.
Fake friends are like shadows—they disappear when it gets dark.
Trusting you was my mistake; forgetting you is my solution.
If gossip were a career, you’d be a billionaire.
I’d thank you for the lessons, but I learned them the hard way.
Don’t be mad when I treat you the way you deserve.
Real friends are hard to find, but fake ones are everywhere.

Savage Roasts Clean

You’d be more likable if you had a personality transplant.
If common sense were contagious, you’d still be immune.
Your jokes are like expired milk—sour and unwanted.
I’ve met bricks with more personality.
Your opinion is like a broken pencil—pointless.
You bring chaos everywhere, but at least you’re consistent.
Don’t worry; nobody here expected brilliance from you.
You’ve got something unique—an endless ability to annoy.
You’re not lazy; you’re just conserving energy for no reason.
If effort were optional, you’d be winning.

Savage Roasts For Teachers

If forgetting homework was a sport, you’d have a Nobel Prize by now.
Your test answers are so creative, I almost gave you points for fiction writing.
The only thing you’re passing in this class is time.
I’d call on you, but I don’t have time for another wrong answer.
Your grades are so low, I need a magnifying glass to find them.
If you studied as much as you snack in class, you’d be top of the school.
You raise your hand with confidence… just to give me the worst answer possible.
You’re late so often, I’m starting to think you live in a different time zone.
The only thing you’ve mastered in my class is staring at the clock.
If your work was as loud as your talking, you’d be my best student.
This exam isn’t open book, but your mouth apparently is.
I assigned missing work, not a missing student.
Your math test score and your IQ have something in common—both are single digits.
You borrow pencils like you’re starting a shop. When’s the grand opening?
If sharing was graded, you’d be failing that too.
I should start charging rent for how much time you spend outside my classroom.
Your whiteboard drawings are better than your essays, and that’s saying something.
I’d tell you to use your phone for research, but I know it’s only for TikTok.
You want extra credit? Let’s start with doing the credit you already have.

Savage Roasts That Hurt

A warning label wouldn’t be enough; your existence needs a full user manual.
Clothes can’t fix what’s wrong with you, but at least they cover most of it.
If intelligence were measured in laptop storage, you’d be running on 2MB.
A Do Not Disturb sign has more social awareness than you.
Mistakes are meant to be learned from, but somehow, you keep making yourself.
Mirrors must charge you extra for the emotional damage they take.
Fault rarely lies in one place, but somehow, it always finds you.
Living in a fantasy is nice, but in your case, reality rejected you first.
Sugar coating wouldn’t help—there’s no way to make your presence digestible.
Discussing anything with you feels like explaining algebra to a goldfish.
Shame isn’t something you lack—it’s just constantly running away from you.
Struggles make people stronger, yet somehow, they just made you bitter.
If common sense were a map, you’d still manage to get lost.
Searching for your logic is like looking for WiFi in a basement—useless.
Validation isn’t a currency, but you still beg for it like spare change.
Bright ideas and dim minds don’t mix—guess which one you have.
Confusion follows you like a loyal pet, and honestly, it deserves better.
Mood swings are normal, but yours is just permanently stuck on “annoying.”
Even a broken shoe has more sole than your entire personality.

Savage Insults Without Swearing

Ever found yourself in an awkward silence, wishing you had the perfect roasts? With these hilarious, savage lines (insult comedy) ,you’ll always stay ahead.

Your secrets are safe with me; I don’t care enough to tell anyone.
Oh, look, the expert in bad decisions has arrived.
You’re like a cloud—when you’re gone, everything’s brighter.
Why explain yourself? We stopped listening after Hi.
You remind me of a cloud: all fluff, no substance.
You’re like a software bug—annoying and hard to fix.
Your social skills must’ve come free with something else.
Don’t worry, nobody was expecting much from you anyway.
I’d ask for your opinion, but I already know it’s irrelevant.
You’re the reason we need warning labels on everything.

Conclusion

In conclusion, savage roasts give you the confidence to handle any situation. You can use them to shut down savage insults. Keep these burns ready and never be caught off guard again!

FAQS

Can a roast also be a nice thing?

Yes! You can give a compliment in a funny way: “You’re so good-looking, even your reflection gets jealous!” or “You have so much style, it’s like you’re in a magazine.

Are savage lines okay?

Only if you know the person well and they like jokes like this. Don’t be too mean or make anyone feel bad.

Can I roast someone who talks too much?

Sure! Try: “You talk so much, even your words get tired!” or “Are you ever quiet? I forgot what that sounds like.”

What’s a savage roast for someone who’s bad at math?

You can say: “You’re so bad at math, you can’t even count to 10 without help!” or “Even a calculator gives up on you.”

What can I say to roast someone who’s always on their phone?

Try: “You spend so much time on your phone, even it gets tired of you!” or “Are you texting or just trying to avoid real life?”

Can these roast be funny without being too mean?

Yes! You can make a savage roast funny by keeping it about silly things, not personal stuff. Like: “You’re so slow, even a snail says ‘Hurry up!’”

How do I roast someone about their cooking?

Say: “Your cooking is so bad, even the dog won’t eat it!” or “You should stick to microwaving food. The stove is scared of you.”